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4
THE VAIRAGYA-ŚATAKAM


यदाढ्यानामग्रे द्रविणमदनिःसंज्ञमनसां
कृतं व्रीतव्रीडैर्निजगुणकथापातकमपि ॥५॥

 5. What have we not endeavoured to do, with our depraved conscience, for the sake of our prāņas (five vital forces) which are unreliable and compared to water on the leaves of a lotus, since in the presence of the rich, with their minds stupefied by the pride of wealth, we have shamelessly committed the sin of recounting our own merits !

 [According to the scriptures, self-glorification is tantamount even to the sin of suicide]

क्षान्तं न क्षमया गृहोचितमुखं त्यक्तं न संतोषतः
सोढा दुःसहशीतवाततपनक्लेशा न तप्तं तपः
ध्यातं वित्तमहर्निशं नियमितप्राणैर्न शंभोः पदं
तत्तत्कर्म कृतं यदेव मुनिभिस्तैस्तै फलैर्वञ्चिताः ॥६॥

 6. We have forgiven, but not out of forgiveness (but out of our incapacity to right our wrongs); we have renounced the comforts of home life, but not out of contentment after satisfaction (but as an exile from home in quest of riches); though we have suffered inclemencies of weather, cold and heat so difficult to bear, still it is not religious austerities that we have undergone ; with subdued vital forces, night and day have we brooded on money and not on the feet of Siva ; thus we have performed those very acts